Race report

Whoo, well, here we go! Here's my report of the race. If you'd told me this time last year that I would be writing this I would have laughed at you. It was about this time last year that my hips were really bad and I couldn't walk! So, in many ways, me doing this is pretty amazing.

Morning
We woke up quite naturally about 6:15am but faffed around a bit getting ready and dressed so set off from home about 7:50am. I would have preferred to eat some toast or bacon but as I spent most of Saturday feeling very uncomfortable I just had a banana, a brazil nut and a yoghurt. Not exactly filling, I know, but doing battle with many potential gastric problems rather limited me and I haven't got my head round what I could eat in time to sort something out.

I was a bit worried about being late but we saw lots of people going to the run as we walked up and that calmed me down. We walked to the location, Anchor Road, as it just seemed simpler than trying to drive or get a bus with all the road closures and so on. I'm not sure if that was a good choice but it meant there wasn't too much stress about it.

Millennium Square was really busy and whilst I was nervous I was also quite excited. I took a couple of pictures here:

As you can see, it was really a lovely day and I'm so glad it wasn't raining or snowing! Or too hot either. I met up with my lovely family by the globe thing. It was so nice to have them there to calm me down and support me. I wished I'd sorted out tshirts for us with our names on and the charity but it was just one more thing to stress about at a very stressful time so it didn't happen. The Wallace and Gromit appeal people looked great though!

After racing around trying to find a toilet queue that actually moved it was time to line up.

The Race
So we lined up and there was quite a bottleneck to do so but we figured it out and joined the back of the line. We were quite some way from the start line so it was a bit of a wait for us to set off after the gun went. There was also a 30 second silence for Boston which everyone observed.

Eventually we got to the start line, a lot of people were jogging to it, which seemed a bit silly as it was wasting energy but I did too as everybody was. Silly me!

So we started off at a pretty slow pace and my family waved after about 200 metres which was really nice. I was feeling pretty puffed quite quickly and quite depressed by how many people were speeding past and how busy it was. I was quite distracted throughout by looking at people's outfits, wondering if I could overtake someone who looked slow...it was quite difficult to run my own race and very different from pounding the streets on my own. I was also quite distracted looking at the supporters! It was lovely to have all the people shouting and cheering but also difficult to maintain focus. Something to think about for future races.

Anyway, after about 1.5km there was a ramp which I was not expecting and as we came back down, to the covered section of the Portway I began to think "oh dear, this is really hard, I don't think I can do it!". As we got to 3km I was tired tired tired and said to Rob, "I can't do this. It's too hard" and had a little walk and apparently looked terrible too. Thanks, darling! I found the Portway relentless. We'd seen the club runners coming back the other way as we started down it so I thought the turning point was reasonably close. Not so and I was just dying for the turning point to feel like I was clocking up some distance. It just seemed to go on and on. Finally, the turning point arrived and our local Heart radio team were there with music and encouraging us to smile for their cameras so that felt really good.

I walked on and off a bit more to the 5km point and then said, "I'm going to run to 7km" and apart from a brief walk under a bridge I did manage it. The crowds got thicker at about 7km and I didn't want to be walking in front of people, particularly in case my family were there so I made myself keep going. I wasn't going particularly fast but it was definitely better than walking! I reminded myself of a little meme doing the rounds:

Yeah, I went there. Guess what? It bloody helped! I also imagined some of my friends there waiting for me and it really helped me to keep going.

After 7km there was Cumberland Road and I was struggling so badly here, I think I walked the whole way. It goes up a very slight incline and I was really feeling my lack of carbs onboard. I knew I would be able to finish but thought I might have to walk to the end.

But then we passed the 8km marker and Rob said, "Right, 3000 steps to go, let's do this thing". And I said, "Let's finish this motherfucker!" and we ran again. I thought about all the people who have sponsored me, who have been to hell and back with molar pregnancy, like me. I thought about the fact that in 2011 I climbed a mountain and I was hurting all the way down but when you're on a mountain you have no choice. You have to go down to go home. So I focussed down and ran. After 9km I saw my friend and her daughters which was so exciting. I probably screamed like a weirdo but it was so great to have people cheering for me.

We ran round the centre and the end was just so close, but I was so so tired and felt really really sick. I  had to walk outside the Hippodrome. Then a boy, about 10 years old, looked at me and said, "Keep going! The finish line is there, it's just down there!" So I had to smile and run again.

I'm sure 100 metres has never seemed so long but I did it and ran over the finish line...still can't believe I did it and didn't need an ambulance at the end!

The End
So then we walked around the corner and there was a bit of a bottleneck. I know I have to drink a lot straight after a run so although it was probably less than a two minute wait I was like, "where's the water?!" and when I found someone I took two small bottles and drank them down. I got my medal and put it on then my bag with my tshirt and various bits. We were wandering forwards and it was really packed when I spotted my parents. At points when it felt so hard I just wanted my mum so it was lovely that she was there at the end. I gave her a massive hug and both my parents were really proud of us and thanked Rob for looking after me. I still couldn't believe I did it!

We made arrangements for later on in the day and went to pick up my bag.

My stomach started hurting really badly at this point but I'd brought some medication with me so we sat down and I took that and then we went for a fizzy sugary drink and some cake and it was very very brilliant.

The countdown begins

Well, here's my race number. It'll be pinned on to my top tomorrow. If you see me say hi!

I'm disappointed at becoming so ill lately that training has had to take a back seat. I'm not even sure how good I'll feel tomorrow but I am determined to turn up and try to get round at the least.

My stomach problems seem to be getting worse and worse and I've been experiencing a lot of pain and discomfort. I'm also very tired a lot of the time. I'm getting further tests done to see what it may be so finding an answer will be good but for now, I've just got to try to carry on the best I can. And "run" 10k!

The last run I did was a week ago and it was probably the best run I've done ever. I ran a full 4k without stopping at about 11kph. What an achievement. I felt pretty good and didn't feel too knackered after. If I can just get into that pace and mindset of "do not stop" I'll be ok. I just really hope my stomach is playing nicely and I can stand up straight (it really has been that bad lately.).

I have to give MASSIVE PROPS to my wonderful partner Rob who set a brilliant pace for me and is going to run with me tomorrow to look after me. He's been training alongside me and is making brilliant progress. We've both signed up for Westonbirt 10K in June and he'll run his own race there and do a great time, no doubt.

I'm just thinking about tomorrow so I've eaten a good dinner and now I'm just sorting out how we'll get there, how on earth you tie your timing chip to your trainers and then it's an early night for an early start.

I'll be back tomorrow or Monday to report back. Have great weekends!

Another setback...

I haven't blogged for quite a while. 

I haven't been very well, unfortunately and there hasn't been much to say about it. Just before Easter my stomach bloated out and didn't go down again. Not such a big deal to most people but it felt quite horrible and I was quite uncomfortable a lot of the time. 

After my previous experiences of "oh, it's just one of those things" turning out to be very far from that I do tend to worry a lot about any form of ill health. My mind always jumps to the worst possible scenario. I am aware it's something of an over-reaction but with my health history it's difficult to remain calm and rational. 

There's also been quite a lot of upheaval at work with starting a new role and undertaking a lot of training for that. It's been quite a stressful time all round. 

I went to the GP who has booked me in to be checked out at hospital. I can't quite decide if she's taking extra precautions or feels that something might be wrong. It's difficult with some of the symptoms as they are quite vague but can be added up in many different ways to mean very scary or very mundane illnesses. 

So, the last few weeks have been quite difficult, physically and emotionally, which has meant that I haven't managed to do very much of anything, particularly not running. It's also been so cold and added up with everything else going on, all I've done is stayed in and waited to see if I feel better.

However, before I felt unwell I booked a kettlebell introduction class which was yesterday and that has really helped me to stop worrying about "what ifs" and focus back on my body and get out of my head a bit. I am aching today but feeling so much more positive. Once the muscle soreness is gone I'm going to get out and see how the running goes.

The race is only three weeks away now and there have been so many setbacks I can't see myself managing to run the whole way but I don't want to give up either. I've managed to walk to work quite a lot recently so I hope it won't be too difficult...I'll be back soon to update. 

Negativity and Inspiration

When I signed up for the run I was looking around the internet for some inspiration. I had read Bangs and a Bun for a while and came across this interview with Fawn Dorr, a pro runner in the States. It's a great read and Fawn is very inspiring, regardless of whether you're a runner or not. Keeping at something and not giving up have parallels with my own battles with my health.

One thing that really stuck in my mind from the interview was this:

" I don’t often say negative or demotivating things. I don’t allow for people that I’m training with to say things like “I can’t” or “it’s too much or too hard.”

The first time I read the post I thought, wow, she sounds really tough! But having started on my own journey I'm beginning to think think a little differently.

It's been so interesting how different people in my life have responded when I tell them about doing the run, and why. A lot of people have been fantastically supportive, listening to my complaints, giving advice, sponsoring me, and generally saying all the right things. If you are one of those people - Thank you very much! I can't tell you how much it helps. Sometimes, when I'm running I recite the names of the people who have sponsored me in my head so I know I can't give in to the discomfort because I don't want to let you down.

Part of what helps to keep me going is telling people how I'm doing and I suppose part of the "social contract" is people being encouraging or supportive.

But what of the people who aren't encouraging? What of the people who say things which are, on the face of it, totally harmless, but if they leave you in the position of defending your choices, when deep down you agree, what then?

Some examples...

Running? You don't want to do that, you'll ruin your knees! 

I think you're insane, getting up in the morning to go and run around.

10K? That's a long way to run for a first timer, why didn't you start with a 5K?

My favourite, uttered in tones of disgust: Why would you do *that*? 

It's silly really, that so few people have been anything but positive. It's always the negative things that stick in my mind and so the spiral down begins as I wonder, why, why would I do it? I hate it. I'm crap at it. I'm never going to be any good, I'm going to embarrass myself and let everyone down...

I realised these comments have very little to do with me and usually a lot to do the person saying them. Returning the quotation at the top of the post, what Fawn is saying is that she doesn't want negativity around her because it drags her down and it just takes energy away from what she's doing. Perhaps it is fierce, but that's what it takes for her to get her job done. I can relate to that. So, if I can anticipate that someone I know isn't going to be happy for me, or supportive when I need a bit of a confidence boost, then I just don't tell them about it. It's weird in some ways for me to not talk about such a huge part of my life but that's been interesting too, to see how some communications go and what are my expectations of other people. I'm learning so much more than simply how to run.

Focus and discipline redux

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about trying to be more disciplined. It's been a week since I "gave up" socialising and whilst I was walking home from work I was thinking about the difference it has made, hence the post.

Of course, socialising is more or less what I do after work during the week, and I'm not some sort of social butterfly, busy every night of the week. That was 2011 - seriously! But it's nice to meet up with friends or go out with my partner a couple of times a week. Even if it's just a quick coffee and poke round the shops after work, going to see a film, or my book group.

Last week the only thing I did was go to a Tron night at the Watershed on Friday which was a lot of fun. This week I don't have any plans.

Although I am missing seeing people, I am quite enjoying the focus I am acquiring.

Last week I was very tired at the start of the week after a busy weekend and I just...went to bed when I wanted to. I didn't feel any pressure to have some down time because I'd already had some.

However, what I think has made the main difference is the telly. I have a tendency to put the television on when I'm in the living room, most usually as background to whatever I'm doing but I often like watching programmes and we all know the best ones start at 10:00pm. I've either not found anything I want to watch, or turned programmes off half way through - unheard of! Instead, I've been listening to CDs or the radio a lot more. Coupled with actually closing the computer and really thinking about the fact the whole internet will still be there tomorrow night, I've become a lot more productive. I've got a lot more energy for cooking decent meals and preparing for the next day or two, preparing lunches, and getting into bed a lot earlier. It feels good and I feel very focussed on the running training and now that I'm actually seeing some improvement there, I'm looking forward to training each day.

I also feel a lot calmer as I'm not stressing out about rushing around to get to where I'm going. I can't park my car near where I work at all so I have to get the bus to and from work. This usually takes at least half an hour compared to 15 or 20 mins door to door in the car. If I have things on in the evening I either have to face the bus or ask my partner to pick me up which he can't always do. Some evenings I'll rush home from work, rush some dinner and jump in the car. I'll find myself planning the evenings all day and at what time I need to have achieved what in order not to be late. Now that I've not had to do that for a week or so, I realise how much it was stressing me out. Mainly, it was stressing me out because I was worrying about being tired from running that morning, or how I was going to fit in a pilates workout after getting in from work and before going out and just wanting to sit down. I know once the pressure is off on training I can just enjoy things a little more for what they are and missing a workout won't be such a big deal.

As I said at the start of this post, I walked home today. It takes me about an hour to walk home and I usually don't bother as it takes so long and I often don't have the time in the day to spare. But today I did, and as I walked in too, that was my workout for the day. I did leave work a little earlier today so I didn't get in too late to prepare quite a time-consuming meal but I actually quite enjoyed walking back and so perhaps I will do it more often. It's good to see these small changes taking place which will, I hope, add up to quite a positive difference overall.

My running gear

I thought I'd do a little post on my running clothes. I was chatting on the Guardian's running blog today about weekend runs and commented that I was really cold. A few friendly posters replied and recommended a few things which I am going to try out and will update about.

I recently read a running magazine where there was a reader feature about running clothes and one woman said, "I'm short so I wear cropped leggings". That made me laugh. I'm also very short and I very much doubt any length of trouser is going to make me look taller. And why on earth would you care how short or tall you look when you're training? I don't care how short I am when I'm trying to look my best, let alone when I'm red faced and grimacing. Very strange.

Anyway, on to the point of the post!

These are my usual running clothes. I actually wore more than this on Saturday, with a woolly neck warmer. It was that cold. I just don't seem to get that hot or sweat when I run in this cold weather. Which is both a relief and rather strange as I usually get out of breath running up a flight of stairs.

From right to left:

Sports bra - an absolute necessity for me. Even doing a very short jog on a treadmill when I got my new trainers made realise how very important a sports bra is to me. Besides all the "running will make your boobs saggy" - please! - it's distracting and uncomfortable to be worrying about what's going on with an unsupported poitrine. This one is a Berlei, it annoys me a bit because you have to take it off over your head which I hate but it does the job.

Vest - I wear a vest, or some sort of undergarment whatever I'm doing - even swimming - so I will always wear a couple of layers. I don't actually like the ones with the "integral bra". There's a load of rubbish. They are just crop tops sewn into a vest. They offer no support and are really uncomfortable to get over your head when you're all sweaty at the end of a workout. But, I do like colour and it fits well and doesn't dig in or anything. And, it's long. I do like a long vest.

Long sleeved top - I love this top! One of my first blog posts was about it. It's by Saucony and was an absolute bargain TK Maxx. It's great - thick fabric, thumb holes, decent pocket and long in the body. It's my favourite bit of running kit.

Running tights - these are by Karrimor and I got them after signing up for the 10K back in December. Seems like a long time ago now. They are cut rather oddly - very small in the waist but so large in the rise and seat that I'm sure a man would feel comfortable in them. They've also got lining across part of the upper leg but not others which feels a bit weird when you take them off. They are very warm though and full length. This cold weather and cropped leggings or trousers is just not going to happen. No way. I do see people out in shorts and leggings and I don't know how they do it.

Socks - Karrimor also, they're a little too short in the ankle for me, I like to pull my socks UP! I'm hoping to get some new ones soon to keep my ankles warm.

I also wear undercrackers but I don't think anyone needs a picture of them!

Some progress, perhaps

I think I am finally making some progress. It feels like a really positive week, finally, and I hope to consolidate and continue working over the next month. That's all I've got left!

This week I've run three times. I did a normal length training run, some hill sprints and a long run.

Hill Sprints
Apparently, these are the business for getting you fitter more quickly. I've read a few articles that talk about VO2 max and fast twitch fibres in muscles. I'm not too bothered about any of the technical details but I am keen to try to mix things up to help me continue to progress. Very fortunately - although it doesn't feel like it after a long day at work - I live up a 1:4 hill. I decided this wouldn't be a long workout and I'd walk down it then attempt a few sprints as fast as I could up it and note the house number I got to when I felt I couldn't carry on. I was surprised at how I managed to push on a bit where I know previously I would give in. I didn't do too well, only three goes and then a short jog on the flat - I was totally knackered from them! - but it will be a good measure of progress and I hope next week I can manage a few more goes and recover more quickly.

The Long Run
Ah, the long run. I've read a lot about the long run and even a non-running friend nodded knowingly when I said this was what I was doing on Saturday. This is the run you should to regularly, which may be longer than where you are on your current training plan, or the distance you're aiming for, to really build in some endurance. I plotted a five mile route and out we went. It was so so cold and at points it felt like every muscle in my body was giving in. But I walked for a bit and then ran again like that until I got home. The best bit was not feeling too bad at all when I did finally get in, an hour after we left home.  Believe it or not, I am actually looking forward to running the same route next week and trying to run more. Then we'll find another longer route. I really hope it's a bit warmer next time as even though I was wearing three layers on top with a scarf, my legs got so cold and that really doesn't help when you're knackered. When I got home I just could not get warm - even after a very hot shower I still had blue lips!

I've also definitely got stronger. There's a section of one of my Yogalates DVDs where you have to do these plies - they're basically a squat that you hold for what feels like ages - I've never been able to sustain it for the time they do in the film but this week I did it! Maybe one day it'll even feel easy. Ha ha ha ha.

I'm not really sure what I'll do this week. I think I'd like to try running a mile non stop a couple of times over one session, more hill sprints and another long run. It'll be a busy week out on the streets, just got to hope it doesn't snow!